Quotations and Quips about Aviation
- New FAA motto:"We're not happy, till
you're not happy."
- Aviation is not so much a profession as
it is a disease.
- A male pilot is a confused soul who talks
about women when he's flying, and about flying when he's with
- A fool and his money are soon flying more
airplane than he can handle.
- There are three simple rules for making
a smooth landing. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
- The only thing worse than a captain who
never flew as copilot is a copilot who once was a captain.
- Be nice to your first officer, he may
be your captain at your next airline.
- Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed
to increase headwind.
- A thunderstorm is never as bad on the
inside as it appears on the outside. It's worse.
- Son, I was flying airplanes for a living
when you were still in liquid form.
- It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation:
start with a large fortune.
- Remember, you're always a student in an
- Keep looking around; there's always something
- Try to keep the number of your landings
equal to the number of your takeoffs.
- You cannot propel yourself forward by
patting yourself on the back.
- There are old pilots, and there are bold
pilots, but there are no old, bold, pilots!
- Things which do you no good in aviation:
Altitude above you. Runway behind you. Fuel in the truck. Half
a second ago. Approach plates in the car. The airspeed you don't
- Flying is the perfect vocation for a man
who wants to feel like a boy, but not for one who still is.
- Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA
is like asking a fireplug what it thinks about dogs.
- Being an airline pilot would be great
if you didn't have to go on all those trips.
- Gravity never loses! The best you can
hope for is a draw!
- When a flight is proceeding incredibly
well, something was forgotten.
Robert Livingston, 'Flying
- The only time an aircraft has too much
fuel on board is
when it is on fire. Sir
Charles Kingsford Smith
- If you can't afford to do something right,
then be darn
sure you can afford to do it wrong. Charlie Nelson
- Just remember, if you crash because of
funeral will be held on a sunny day. Layton A. Bennett
- I hope you either take up parachute jumping
or stay out
of single motored airplanes at night. Charles A. Lindbergh, to
Wiley Post, 1931
- Never fly the 'A' model of anything. Ed Thompson
- Keep thy airspeed up, less the earth come
from below and
smite thee. William
- When a prang seems inevitable, endeavor
to strike the
softest, cheapest object in the vicinity, as slowly and gently
possible. Advice given
to RAF pilots during W.W.II.
- Always keep an 'out' in your hip pocket.
- Bevo Howard
- The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in
the world; it can just
barely kill you. attributed
to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot
- A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably
his plane to its maximum. Jon
- If you're faced with a forced landing,
fly the thing as
far into the crash as possible. Bob
- If an airplane is still in one piece,
don't cheat on
it. Ride the bastard down. Ernest
- Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death
I Shall Fear No Evil For I am
80,000 feet and Climbing. Sign
over the entrance to the SR-71
operating location on Kadena AB Okinawa.
- You've never been lost until you've been
lost at Mach 3. - Paul
- The emergencies you train for almost
never happen. It's
the one you can't train for that kills you. - Ernest K. Gann
- If you want to grow old as a pilot, you've
got to know
when to push it, and when to back off. Chuck Yeager
- Never fly in the same cockpit with someone
you. Richard Herman Jr.,
- There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm
in peacetime. Sign
over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970. (It was
- Life is simple. Eat, sleep, fly.
- Try not to die all tensed up.
- The three best things in life are a good
landing, a good orgasm, and good
bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few
opportunities in life to experience all three at the same time.
- (A DC-9 captain trainee attempting to
check out on the 'glass cockpit' of
an A-320.) "Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV."
- It only takes two things to fly:--- airspeed
- What is the similarity between air traffic
controllers and pilots? If a
pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If ATC screws up, the pilot
- It's better to break ground and head into
the wind than to break wind and
head into the ground.
- The difference between flight attendants
and jet engines is that the
engine usually quits whining when it gets to the gate.
- A copilot is a knothead until he spots
opposite direction traffic at 12
o'clock, after which he's a goof-off for not seeing it sooner.
- Without ammunition the USAF would be just
another expensive flying club.
- If something hasn't broken on your helicopter,
it's about to.
- I give that landing a 9 . . . on the Richter
- Basic Flying Rules:
- Try to stay in the middle of the air.
- Do not go near the edges of it.
- The edges of the air can be recognized
by the appearance of ground,
buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more
- Unknown landing signal officer to carrier
pilot after his 6th unsuccessful
landing attempt: "You've got to land here son, this is where
the food is."