On his recent visit to the U.S., the Pope's plane arrived two hours late in Los Angeles. His Holiness knew from experience that if he waited for the popemobile to be unloaded and outfitted, he would be late for his scheduled appearance in two hours at Dodger Stadium.
Not wishing to disappoint the devout Catholics, the Pope hailed a taxi. "Dodger Stadium," he intoned to the cabbie, then, "And step on it!"
"Your Holiness," said the cabbie as he entered freeway traffic at 55 mph, "I can appreciate your desire to get to the stadium quickly, but if I get another speeding ticket I'll lose my hack license."
After a few minutes, the Pope grew impatient with the slow pace and once again exhorted the cabbie to go faster. "I'm sorry, your Holiness, but I simply can't...."
"PULL OVER," shouted the Pope. The driver stopped on the shoulder, and the Pope got out. "Trade places with me," said the Pope. The cabbie obediently got into the back seat as the Pope slid behind the wheel. The Pope then accelerated briskly into traffic and quickly reached a speed in excess of 90 mph.
A few miles from Dodger Stadium, the Pope heard a blast from a siren. Seeing a rack flashing lights in his rear-view mirror he instantly pulled onto the shoulder and waited nervously....
Meanwhile, the policeman was calling Dispatch:
"One-Adam-Five, Dispatch, go."
"Yes, Dispatch, I've just pulled over a taxi on the freeway and it contains someone *extremely* powerful. I think this one may be too hot to handle..."
"Roger," said the dispatcher, "Is it the Mayor?
"No," said the officer, "Way more important than the Mayor."
"Nope, not even close," said the officer.
"How about the President of the United States?"
"No," said the officer.
"WELL THEN WHO IS IT?" asked the dispatcher.
The officer swallowed hard, then said, "I'm not really sure, but he's so important that he's got the Pope chauffeuring him around!"