"If I have any beliefs about immortality,
it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very,
very few persons."
-- James Thurber
"Dogs feel very strongly that they
should always go with you in the car, in case the need should
arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
-- Dave Barry
"I wonder what goes through his mind
when he sees us peeing in his water bowl."
-- Penny Ward Moser
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance,
and to turn around three times before lying down."
-- Robert Benchley
"No animal should ever jump up on the
dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that that he can
hold his own in the conversation."
-- Fran Lebowitz
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles
are members of a weird religious cult."
-- Rita Rudner
"My dog is worried about the economy
because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog
-- Joe Weinstein
"Some days you're the dog, some days
you're the hydrant."
"Don't accept your dog's admiration
as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-- Ann Landers
"In order to keep a true perspective
of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship
him and a cat that will ignore him."
-- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
"The average dog is a nicer person
than the average person."
-- Andrew A. Rooney
"There is no psychiatrist in the world
like a puppy licking your face."
-- Ben Williams
"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs."
-- Aldous Huxley
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
-- Sue Murphy
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
-- August Strindberg
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul--chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
-- Anne Tyler
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
-- Edward Abbey
"Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it."
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."
-- Christopher Morley
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
-- Holbrook Jackson
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be ours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
-- Mark Twain
"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane."
-- Smiley Blanton
"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
-- John Steinbeck