Squawk Sheet

	Problem		Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
	Solution		Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
	Problem		Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
	Solution		Almost replaced left inside main tire.
	Problem		Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.
	Solution		Evidence removed.
	Problem		IFF inoperative.
	Solution		IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
	Problem		Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
	Solution		That's what they're there for.
	Problem		Number three engine missing.
	Solution		Engine found on right wing after brief search.
	Problem		The autopilot doesn't.
	Solution		IT DOES NOW.
	Problem		Something loose in cockpit.
	Solution		Something tightened in cockpit.
	Problem		Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
	Solution		Cannot reproduce Problem on ground.
	Problem		Dead bugs on windshield.
	Solution		Live bugs on order.
	Problem		DME volume unbelievably loud.
	Solution		Volume set to more believable level.
	Problem		#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid.
	Solution		#2 Propeller seepage normal.
	Problem		#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage.
	Problem		F/A's complain of numerous roaches in the galleys
	Solution		Roaches deplaned
	Problem		3 roaches in galley.
	Solution		1 roach killed, 1 wounded, 1 got away.
	Problem		Mouse in radio stack.
	Solution		Cat installed in radio stack.
	Problem		Weather radar went ape-%@#&!
	Solution		Opened radome, let out ape, cleaned up %@#&!
	Problem		Turn & slip indicator ball stuck in center during turns.
	Solution		Congratulations. You just made your first coordinated turn!
	Problem		Whining sound heard on engine shutdown.
	Solution		Pilot removed from aircraft.
	Problem		Pilot's clock inoperative.
	Solution		Wound clock.
	Problem		Autopilot drops a wing when fuel imbalance reaches 500 pounds.
	Solution		Flight manual limits maximum fuel imbalance to 300 pounds.
	Problem		#2 ADF needle runs wild.
	Solution		Caught and tamed #2 ADF needle.
	Problem		Lower Rotating Beacon half-full of water.
	Solution		Lower Rotating Beacon topped off.
	Problem		Approximately 2 each wires in bundle burned.
	Solution		Removed and replaced between 1 and 3 wires.
	Problem		No 2 engine oil overserviced.
	Solution		No 2 engine oil under-overserviced.
	Problem		Aircraft handles funny.
	Solution		Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious!!.
	Problem		Target Radar hums.
	Solution		Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.