25 Rules for Women
- Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's
up put it down.
- Don't cut your hair. Ever.
- Don't make us guess.
- If you ask a question you don't want an
answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
- Sometimes, he's not thinking about you.
Live with it.
- He's never thinking about "The Relationship."
- Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not
different, it's just like every other cat.
- Dogs are better than any cats.
- Sunday equals sports. It's like the full
moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
- Shopping is not everybody's idea of a
- Anything you wear is fine. Really.
- You have enough clothes.
- You have too many shoes.
- Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must,
but don't expect us to like it.
- Your brother is an idiot.
- Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't
- No, he doesn't know what day it is. He
never will. Mark anniversaries.
- Share the bathroom.
- Share the closet.
- Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
- A headache that lasts for 17 months is
a problem. See a doctor.
- Nothing says 'I love you' like a blowjob
in the morning.
- Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
- Learn to check your own oil.
- Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.